Our City's Divas

I make regular visits to San Francisco, but I can say only a handful of them are as interesting as what I experienced last night. A few friends and I met up at a nightclub/bar called Divas for an amateur drag queen talent show. On weekends, all three floors of this establishment are open to their patrons. The first floor is the bar with a small stage, the second has a bigger stage for more elaborate performances, and the third has a dance floor.

On this particular night, only the first floor was open. We were one of the first ones there so we found good seats close to the small stage decked with a curtain of silver tinsel. The bartender, Alexis, was a lovely woman. I found her big hair, beautiful smile, and deep voice strangely comforting. We ordered some drinks. The special of the night was an "oatmeal cookie." This was good but strong. As we chatted and sipped our strong drinks, more people started walking in. Some were average looking men, and the majority were "divas."

One homeless-looking person wearing a trench coat walked in. He walked to the end of the bar and back, sneaking peeks at people, even me and my friend. He stopped at a diva sitting at the bar, and I didn't see this, but my friend said he started making out with her. She was Asian with straight black hair, red lipstick, tight clothing, and a hint of a mustache. While he had her distracted, one hand tried grabbing for her hand bag! There was a little commotion but he left quickly. I saw that diva mouthing curses at him and a group of them staring at him with dirty looks.

This was already around 11:30, so one of my friends and I wanted to get a little food before the show started at midnight. As we were walking out, we saw a group of five divas, all with very masculine physiques, stomping out of the bar searching for the thief. This scene was hilarious. Imagine these women. One was the bartender who had big black hair and was wearing a sequined red dress and heels. Another looked exactly like John Goodman but with big blonde hair wearing a sequined turquoise dress and heels. Another was the Asian diva with her tight white tee and jeans. Another had shoulder length red hair with a blazer and slacks. I don't remember the last one. This group of women approach the man and surround him like a pack of hungry wolves about to pounce on a helpless deer. Some words were exchanged, and the man hurriedly ran across the street to safety. Darn. No fight. My friend and I turned towards our destination as the angry pack headed back to the bar.

As we were walking down Van Ness to Tommy's Joynt, we pass another homeless person holding something big in one hand. I looked curiously at his hand and thought, "What is that? White and gray feathers? EEWW!! It's a stuffed bird!" What the heck! It's not everyday you see a man walking down the street holding a taxidermic bird...

Okay, back to the bar. The show was entertaining. One of my friends got several kisses from one of the divas and even a little pseudo lap dance. Ha ha. One of the performers was great. She was so sultry, it was mesmerizing. Among the audience, there were some drag queens who were actually pretty, but all of them (with the exception of a few) were haughty and had attitude, but that's why they're appropriately named "divas." They were all so feminine with exaggerated swinging hips, skin-baring clothing, and long false lashes. One of my friends and I agree we feel like being a little more feminine the next day. Heh heh...

As we got up to leave, the bartender stopped us and asked if we enjoyed ourselves and if we're going to come back. Feeling the pressure of all eyes on us, we all said "yes," but I think I'd like to go back. The ambiance was nice, it was clean, the people are far from being boring, and the bartender Alexis and the host Victoria's Secret were so inviting and wonderful.

I guess that's the gist of the evening. I really wish the divas and the thief had gotten into a rumble. That would have been the highlight of my week. Yes, my life can be pretty dull. But one thing's for sure. Life cannot be dull when you're around divas!