Phone on the Throne

Please. If any of you do this to me, you must stop immediately. Do not talk to me on the phone while you're on your porcelain throne. It's been done to me before, and I could not accept it then, and still won't. It's just gross. True, if you don't know about it, it's all good. But what happens when you need to flush the toilet? And what about the echoes that comes with talking in a tiled room? I view unloading yourself as a very private moment. At times, I can't even do it when there's someone else in another stall. And then there are people who can have full on conversations with people on the phone. There's this woman on the floor of my building who I've encountered in the bathroom. I've never seen her face, but I can recognize her voice. It may be completely quiet, which it should be, and all of a sudden, she starts blabbing away. Blah blah blah blah blah. Shit is coming out from two orifices, her butt and her mouth. Geez. The poor innocent person on the other line! What if there's silence at the perfect moment, and the other person hears "Doink. Splash." "Uuuuhh, what was that?" And she responds, "Oh! I'm taking a dump right now! But don't mind me. Go on. What were you saying?" How horrible is that! But I guess some people don't mind. But I do, so don't do it to me.

Ha ha ha!! I can't believe I'm writing about this...