Red Egg Party

I don't know if you remember a previous post I had published a few months ago about seeing my ex at my friend's party, but my dream came true. Uh, correction. Part of it came true. I saw him this weekend at my friend's red egg party* for their newborn baby.

The Call
I was at work late one night, partly working, partly scaring myself with imaginary ghosts and rapists. All of a sudden my phone rang. The screen said "Steve." What?! WHAT?! I IMed my friend, and said, "OMG. Steve is calling me..." I picked up and finally hung up with him 45 awkward minutes later. We did a lot of catching up, but his two main reasons to call was to wish me a happy belated birthday and to ask me what I'd like him to do in regards to the presence of his new girlfriend at the upcoming party. I said thank you to the former, and for the latter, I told him, "You know I don't like her, right?" He said, "Yeah." "And she probably doesn't really me either." "Probably not." "Okay, if you decide to come over and talk to me, don't bring her with you. " I didn't want to see her, let alone, see her with him.

I honestly didn't really know how she looked like. All I remember from a cursory glance at a photo was big frizzy hair and excess weight. I even asked him once, "You think I'm prettier, right?" Without a second thought, he responded, "Yeah, of course." He proceeded to say something else that would be very hurtful to her if she ever found out. (Doubters, he wasn't just saying this. He was being honest. I know him.)

The Party
This past Saturday, I arrived at the restaurant wearing a flirty red dress and tall scrunchy boots and looking pretty good... on the outside, but my insides were a jumbled mess. My stomach had traveled all the way up to my neck. Two of my close friends greeted me at the entrance. We walked in and I recognized his head/hair right away seated at one of the tables. We found a couple of friends at the end of the room and sat down, with our backs facing him... and her.

The Greeting
While we were eating and chatting, he approached from behind me and said "hi." I turned and he was standing next to me. I looked at his face, the same face I've memorized the contours of from all the times I've traced over it with my fingertips, the face I loved every millimeter of for the past few years, the face I haven't seen for almost seven months. Our hug was genuine, but I pushed away first, not wanting old feelings to surface. He complimented me, and I knew he was being honest. I said he looked good as well, but it came out a little rehearsed, so we both chuckled. He had lost some weight and looked darker. I guess that's from all the running he's been doing. I forgot to check to see if he had lost more hair! I would have pointed it out to him. Ha ha.. We talked for a few minutes, laughing about certain things, agreeing on the quality of the food (this was one of our favorite topics in the past), about his friend who is now in a band... I even insulted him like I used to do, which felt nice. I don't mean the insult, but how we would disagree with each other and were completely honest about everything. He left after saying brief "hi"s to my friends. I let out a deep breath. I was alright.

The Unknown Encounter
I finished whatever was on my plate and made another trip to the buffet counters. As I was walking back (empty-handed... weird) I saw one of Steve's friends, Chiang. We gave each other a hug and started catching up on things like work, traveling, hiking, the seven summits, etc. I believe Steve's name came up a couple times. As were were chatting away, I noticed a girl sitting at the table where I was perching my elbows on, holding my friend's newborn. She had big eyes, a big nose, and straight brown hair. I didn't recognize her, but I had a feeling she recognized me. You know how some people look like they're preoccupied with something, for instance, holding and petting a baby, but she's actually listening in on your conversation? Yeah, she was doing that. So after a few minutes of being chummy with Steve's friends (another friend came up to us after a few minutes), I gave them hugs and said goodbye. As they were leaving, I saw Steve again, but this time, he talked to that big nosed girl holding the baby. I knew then that that was her.

The Hunchback Bitch
I walked back to my table and started blurting out to my friends that I saw her. Everyone's interest peaked. As catty insults were thrown out, Steve surprised me (and everyone else) from behind (much like a ninja) to say goodbye. We gave each other our last hug of the day, and he continued on with saying his goodbyes to other family members seated at other tables. Our eyes followed him, and sure enough, following behind him was her. (I don't even know her name. I don't want to know her name. I've told him before, "Don't you ever say her name in front of me." He called her "what's her face.") Sharpening our claws, we started taking a good look at her. Insults started flying. "Her nose is sooo big!" "Look at her spare tire!" "You can tell she's not an active person. Things are oozing out." (Oh gosh, I actually feel kind of bad for saying these things and laughing at her now. It's really mean... But I'm going to finish my story.) My favorite insult was "Look at her! She has a hunchback!!" I started laughing in disbelief when my friend said that. And she said, "No! Look. She does have a little hunchback!" I looked carefully, and to my surprise, she does!! So that was when she was given the title "The Hunchback Bitch."

To be honest, she looks like a nice girl. We all agreed she looks like her confidence level wasn't very high. My friends noticed she kept looking in my direction during the party. But looks can be deceiving, as we all should know. Another friend of mine saw her in the bathroom, before knowing that it's her, and noticed that she eyed my friend from head to toe and back. My friend thought, "Eew. Who is this person?! How rude!"

The Aftermath
After they left, my blood was still boiling. Seeing him was fine. I honestly believe that we can become friends in the future. But seeing her with him gets me pretty riled up. I wanted to gouge her eyes out. I really did. I hate her. I know I shouldn't. If there's anyone who deserves my fury, it would be Steve. That only makes sense. But love doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense at all. Because of love, I stayed with him for several years, 100% in love for the entire duration, but all the while fearing his decision on marriage wouldn't budge. Don't get me wrong. I am no longer in love with Steve, but I do still love him. How can I not? So after a lot of good conversation and a lot of laughs with friends, we left the party.

I was thinking about it earlier today. (I actually haven't been able to get this off my mind.) I actually think this girl may be good for Steve. She looks submissive with low self-confidence. (But again, looks are deceiving.) If she is this way, that may work with Steve. He tends to do whatever he wants. And I imagine she won't be strong enough to even know what she wants. But he'll definitely not have much fun with her though. She looks like a boring gal. No personality. He used to tease me about getting multiple girlfriends, and I would be his weekend girl. I'm fun, funny, etc. BUT!!! I may be completely wrong about her because she was the one who pursued him. She was willing to inconvenience herself for him when Steve and I were on vacation. Thinking back, it made me feel good knowing she saw me being "cool" with Steve's friends. Any girlfriend would hate to see her man's ex being chummy with his friends.

I wonder what they talked about after they left. I wonder what he thought. I wonder what she thought. I don't know if my friend was trying to make me feel better, but she said, "Steve must be kicking himself right now. Come on. Just compare you two. You have so much more. Either that or he's profusely apologizing to her. She must be feeling pretty bad right now..." I hope she feels bad.

Some of you may think that it's been several months. Just get over it already. But my argument is that it's only been several months. And when you're so invested in a relationship for a long period of time, several months is nothing at all. And like I said, I'm not in love with him anymore. Feeling waves of anger, betrayal, and jealousy when seeing them together is normal, right? I know in time, I will not be affected by this, but presently, she's still a hunchback bitch. My hatred for her is in full gear.

* What is a red egg party you are wondering? It's a tradition for Chinese parents to throw their newborn babies a party after their first month to celebrate their birth. Eggs dyed in red are handed out to guests as favors, an egg symbolizing life, and red is a color that is believed to bring luck.